Transitioning your “new” child into your home should be a gradual process. Remember that you are far more excited than your new child is. Your child is scared. Moves have become a way of life. While you see this as an exciting new adventure in your life, your child is wondering how long THIS one is going to last. Be sensitive to these emotions, and respectful of your child’s wishes.
The day you have waited for is finally here. Your visit with your child. I can’t tell you how your child will react to your visit. I went through two different extremes.
The first time we met our son, he was scared, and did not want to see us at all. He was in a home with his biological brother, and didn’t want to leave him. He spent the entire 2 hour visit in his bedroom, looking at us through a crack in the door. We barely saw his face.
When we met our foster son, K, he was standing on the porch of his foster home, jumping up and down, and yelling “My new Mommy & Daddy are here.” He was completely outgoing, and wanted my complete attention.
Little did I know that the reaction of both boys were warning signs of things to come, but that will come later.
On you first visit, if you want to bring a gift, keep it small. A stuffed animal, or other age appropriate item is sufficient. You don’t want to set up a pattern where the child expects gifts from you every time there is a visit. You may want to bring a game, or deck of cards along to give you something to do with her.
Use this time to get to know her and to get an idea of what may lie ahead. There are some “red flags” to look for that may indicate future behavior problems.
© Excerpted from Adoption.com Guide to Foster Adoption, published by Adoption Media, LLC
Credits: Kelly L. Killian
Note: Our authors are dedicated to honest, engaged, informed, intelligent, and open conversation about adoption. The opinions expressed here may not reflect the views of Adoption.com.