Waiting, waiting, and waiting some more

In the words of Tom Petty,

“The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part.”

You will wait to hear from the state agency. Wait for the appointment for your first meeting. Wait for meetings for your home study. Wait for the home study to be completed. Wait to hear if you are approved. Wait to hear about a child. Wait for the informational meeting. Wait for your first visit. Wait for the final move. Wait for your finalization date.

Some placements are very quick, but most of the time you will have to wait. This is a very emotional time. You are searching for a child to add to your home. You spend time scouring the photolistings, and preparing your child’s room. Why hasn’t the social worker called you with a child match yet?

The simple answer is, they’re busy. Social workers are working with lots of parents, and lots of kids. It is OK to remind your worker that you are still waiting and what “type” of child you are interested in. You know the old saying, “the squeaky wheel gets the oil.” If you find a profile of a child that you are interested in, get the information to your case worker. This also helps them to understand what you’re looking for in a child.

WAITING

I haven't met you yet or seen your face, but in my heart you hold a place. My hopes grow with each passing day, even though you're miles away. I know you're there waiting for me, as I am here waiting to see, the child God has sent from above, to make me a mother and share all my love.

The age and type of the child you are looking for will greatly impact the length of your wait. If you are looking for a Caucasian child, under the age of 3, you can expect to have a very long wait. If you are willing to accept an older child, a sibling group, or a child of color, you can expect a much shorter wait.

Children in Care
On September 30, 2004, 518,000 children were in the U.S. foster care system. Most children are placed in foster care temporarily due to parental abuse or neglect.

Age of Children in Foster Care
Average age: 10.1 years

Age	Percentage
Younger than 1 year	5%
Age 1-5	25%
Age 6-10 years	20%
Age 11-15 years	29%
Age 16-18 years	18%
Over 18	2%

Race/Ethnicity
As a percentage, there are more children of color in the foster care system than in the general U.S. population. Child abuse and neglect, however, occur at about the same rate in all racial/ethnic groups.

Read the report, Children of Color in the Child Welfare System, from CWLA's National Data Analysis System.

Ethnicity	Out-of-Home Care	General Population
Black, Non-Hispanic	34%	15%
White, Non-Hispanic	40%	61%
Hispanic	18%	17%
American Indian/Alaska Native, Non-Hispanic	2%	1%
Asian/Pacific Islander, Non-Hispanic	1%	3%
Unknown	2%	N/A
Two or More Races, Non-Hispanic	2%	4%

Gender	Percentage
Male	53%
Female	47%

Length of Stay
For the children in foster care on September 30, 2004, the average amount of time they had been in the system was 30 months. 29% of children leaving care in 2004
had been away from home for a year or longer. 53% of the young people leaving the system were reunified with their birth parents or primary caregivers.

Adoptions
In 2004, 59% of adopted children were adopted by their foster parents. (Foster parent excludes anyone identified as a relative of the child.) Of children adopted in 2004, 24% were adopted by a relative.

Source: Child Welfare League http://www.cwla.org/programs/fostercare/factsheet.htm

That does not mean you should change your expectations so that you can take placement of a child sooner. Be honest and reasonable about what will be the best fit for your family, will make the likelihood of the placement working even greater.

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Credits: Kelly L. Killian