What can you do while you’re waiting?

Talk with other adoptive parents
Find out what issues they deal with, what parenting methods they use, what works and doesn’t work. Offer to do respite for them, or to be a mentor for their child. If you tell the families that you are going through the adoption process, they are usually more than willing to share their experiences with you.

Get online
There are great resources available that will allow you to research, and talk to other parents who are still waiting, or have been matched with a child. This can give you a realistic idea of what to expect once your child “comes home”, or even during the visiting process. You will have other people who understand your frustration, excitement, and worries.

At the Adoption.com Forums you will find many areas to give you information.

There is the foster care and adoption section. You can talk to parents who are doing foster care without the intention of adoption, parents who are waiting to be matched and parents who have been matched, and are going through the visitation process or waiting to finalize their adoption.

In the special needs section, you will find parents who have a child that has been identified as special needs, by the definition listed in the earlier part of this book (see page 10). Here you will have a chance to talk to parents who are living with a child day in and day out, and will speak to you very honestly about the types of challenges that may lie ahead of you.

Adoption Blogs
Here you will find blogs written by parents who are living with foster or adopted children. They are funny, serious, insightful, but most importantly, real. They describe the joys and struggles of living with traumatized children, adoption and foster care questions, dealing with schools, finding treatment, and virtually every other scenario you can imagine. There are currently 28 bloggers, including Michelle Vandepas who is the Foster Adoption blogger, along with blogs on Reactive Attachment Disorder, Parenting Children with Special Needs, and faith based blogs.

Pre-Adoption lists
Both www.adoption.com and www.radzebra.org have lists where pre-adoptive parents can chat with each other, and share joys, frustrations, and information.

E-Newsletters

AdoptionWeek.com - The Adoption e-newsletter from Adoption.com is a well written e-newsletter that covers all aspects of adoption. From the latest in legislation, to search and reunion, as well as poetry, waiting families, waiting children, and a calendar of adoption events. It is not based solely on adoption from foster care, but it is loaded with useful information.
NRC for Family-Centered Practice and Permanency Planning is written by the Hunter College School of Social Work. This newsletter discusses issues in adoption, but focuses on foster care and special needs children as well.
Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute Newsletter is a monthly newsletter, written about adoption legislation and research.